The very fabric of our country, of relationships is being torn apart at the seams while people fight over politics and other differences.

I get it. It’s hard when you disagree with a friend or loved one. It’s hard to find out that what you thought a person believed is not what they believe at all; or maybe they’ve done some reading and have made up their own mind based on information they have found. And now that decision differs drastically from your own.

Yet isn’t that what relationships are all about? Isn’t that what the fabric of our country is made of – men, women, children of varying races and creeds all coming together under one flag.

If you fall on one side of the fence you will surely get cut off. If you fall on another side or no side at all you stand a better chance of keeping your friends. If you say nothing at all you will not risk losing relationships… but at what cost? Are you being authentic if you say nothing?

I have to admit that its’ downright nerve wracking to speak up, share a post I believe to be true or even disagree with someone in a civil way. Yet can I sit idly by and say nothing at all? Often I do, because I don’t want to deal with the hatred it brings. Disagreement I can deal with and I enjoy when it’s civil. It’s the downright hatred, name-calling, cursing people out, and stereotyping that I just choose to walk away from.

I am sad to see that we live in a country now that friends and family feel it’s ok to unfriend / disown people they care about merely because beliefs differ; merely because of supporting a different candidate; merely because they sit on differing sides of an issue…. where civility, respect, and curiosity no longer exist.

The President isn’t destroying the country or our relationships… many of the citizens of this country are doing a fine job of that on their own.

Kindness in spite of differences does matter. Is it hard sometimes? – yes. But that kindness and grace is where truly loving someone exists. Curiosity and openness is where learning happens.

Unless ….

We stop focusing on differences

We will never unite. We will not have peace. We will continue the strife no matter who is in office.

I was taught to respect the office of the President. And I have always respected whoever we have in office no matter if I voted for them or not; no matter if I like them or not. My view is that the people voted and that’s who won so I will accept it and go on. I will even give them the benefit of the doubt.

I can’t even fathom calling the President of my country derogatory names or not supporting them for the 4 years they are in office, giving them a chance to do the job they were rightfully voted in to do — no matter what party they are from. I cannot fathom the amount of disrespect someone must have for another to tell them to “Shut Up” and “shush” the way Biden did at the debate. I was shocked!

Yet every day there is so much focus on how much people “hate” the President they don’t care who they hurt to express that. And they aren’t even looking at themselves as a possible source of why this country is so tattered. It’s much easier to blame someone else.

The first debate was abysmal. In my opinion no one won. The country lost last night. It was 2 grown men arguing… wait, no… 3 if you count the moderator. None of them had enough respect for the other to actually hear the other out. None of them could hold themselves in a way that rose above the noise, talking points and defensiveness. None of them were the bigger person. It was hard to watch. My kids thought it was crazy and they were just as tired as I was of the bickering. Yet I watched because I wanted to know first-hand what each had said instead of waiting for the soundbites.

Tonight we talked about the debate with our kids and what they thought. We talked about the election. We talked with the kids about respecting the President no matter who they are, whether you voted for them or not; respecting someone who is in a higher office even if you disagree with them. There are civil ways to have a conversation that includes disagreement.

I am a patriot and I love my country. This post touches on only one aspect of the tattered-ness but it’s a pretty big one. I pray for the United States and that whoever wins this election, Americans whose candidate lost can find a way to swallow their pride, pull up their bootstraps and focus on the present instead of what they are going to do 4 years from now. Otherwise we may find ourselves losing all that we hold dear about this beautiful land as it gets ripped further apart.

What are your thoughts? I would love to hear them.