Did you know our brains are naturally wired for negativity? It’s called negativity bias. The news media is a good example of this…. They play to our emotions highlighting all the bad because it’s easier to be upset than happy; if there is upset then there can be division. If there is division, unity crumbles. If we focus on the things that are bad or not right or good around us then it is easy to stay depressed.
Obstacles in life are what strengthen some and weaken others… it depends on your perspective and response. I believe God uses them to grow us into what He wants us to be. Those who see the obstacle or problem as something that needs solving, continue to grow and achieve, looking inward. Those who see it as a barrier stay. Often times our thoughts get in our way and they have to be re-trained.
I have been getting professional help from a therapist and a life coach to guide me in retraining my thought process in certain areas. They have also been helping me work through some very hard emotional stuff. Along the way, God has put some new friends in my life that have helped me open my eyes as well.
It takes a concerted daily effort to find the positive, focus on that and live joyfully.
The truth is while there are bad things happening in our world, there is also a lot of good…. You just have to find it, create it yourself, focus on it and turn off the noise. Instead of finding things wrong, find the things that are going right. In fact, I found myself in a place recently with a new friend who gave me an awareness about my level of positivity. It kind of hurt at first because I had hurt him. But it was a good because what he said opened my eyes and brought new light into an area I clearly needed to adjust.
Staying grateful and finding what is going right is often easier said than done for me because I don’t want to just stick my head in the sand and act like nothing is going on in the world. I’ve also been so stuck in the negativity bias and I feel that God has given me a voice and the ability to see, hear and understand differing perspectives that I’ve had trouble because I value truth more than anything. Add to that, in my work and at the end of a project, I’m looking for all the things that aren’t working so that I can fix them.
In fact I rarely take stock or inventory of the ways in which a project is good.
At the end of my appointment yesterday, my therapist tasked me with the assignment to find and focus on the things that are going good – with a project, with my day, with my kids, with the world. She invited me to find ways to flip the script and not make the bad stuff my focus.
This is not to be confused with being positive for the sake of being positive. Or not letting yourself mourn when you need to mourn or cry when you need to cry or get mad. By all means we need to allow ourselves those emotions too. It’s about looking at something and saying “that right there that’s the good part of it”
It’s all a choosing how we respond and react.
So now you know the back story I’m going to start creating positive headlines for my day. My positive headline for today is: “Mom of 2 continues to successfully navigate eSchool while keeping her business running and clients happy.”
What’s your positive headline? What are you grateful for?
